Frustrated Bible Teacher

FRUSTRATED BIBLE TEACHER

I know God has called me to teach the body of Christ. I try to do my best at studying and prepping for the time when He will finally open the door for me to go public. I seldom have an opportunity to teach... very few will attend Sunday School and they never ask me to preach otherwise. I find it difficult to not be frustrated by it. The prophet Jeremiah said when he tried not to preach and had determined that he would not speak in God's name anymore, that the word was like fire shut up in his bones and he could not endure the silence. That is what I feel all the time. I study but have no platform on which to teach what He has revealed to me and it is like fire shut up in my bones... an almost tormenting, daily occurrence.

At long last, I finally found a platform... YouTube. I have been out of work since January and I discovered YouTube as a platform on which to teach and I love it. I built the canDEElicious channel and uploaded videos and prayed that God would make provision that I should be able to continue, but He has not... although I prayed many times and have seen very little trickling in (not nearly enough). I love the Lord with all my heart and want to do His will. I love my husband too but he cannot bear the burden of our debts alone and need my help. So I am now looking for work as I must once again hang up my teaching hat to endure more of Corporate America.

My heart is extremely heavy today. I finally found a platform but the door is STILL shut. I know that when I go to work, I will not be able to devote the time I need to studying and recording. I will have to go to work everyday and put on a pretend happy face as though I am enthusiastic to be there.

I often see ministers who are not as anointed and gifted, going forth and it doesn't seem fair to me at all. They're soaking up good air teaching nothing, yet I am silenced from year to year. And now, even canDEElicious has been taken away from me.

Like one who takes away a garment in cold weather, and like vinegar on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. Prov. 25:20

canDEElicious Video Ministry on YouTube