Christian Nonfiction
Message from the Author
I was born and raised in a Christian family, but I never seemed to have a desire to enter my own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. I attended church and participated in the activities, but only splashed around in the shallow end of the pool.
Then in the Spring of 1999 at the age of 36, I was born again and experienced a great awakening.
I once saw a YouTube video of a little boy tasting bacon for the first time. Sitting in his highchair, he reared his little head back and closed his eyes and let out an “Oooowwww, bacon!” It was nothing like he had experienced from the many jars of baby food he had consumed.
That illustrates my experience with the Lord Jesus, growing up around Christians and not enjoying my own personal relationship with Him was like that baby food. But when I began to walk personally with the Lord, I was like that little boy enjoying bacon for the first time… “Oooowwww, Jesus!”
Dedication
I dedicate this book to my mother, Alverne, who was God’s instrument in
revealing to me His liberality. Thank you for teaching me that it is not a sin
to wear pants.
Chapter 1
Our Pain Is God’s
Bullhorn
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a dead world. (The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis)
When he was a boy, C.S. Lewis’s mother died of cancer. At that time, he was being raised a Christian but his inability to rationalize evil and suffering led him to reject Christianity and set him on a path toward atheism. Lewis could not unravel the idea of suffering and pain and it did not fit with his idea of the loving, heavenly Father. But at the age of 33, Lewis made friends with some Christian men, and they helped to influence him back to his Christian faith, and he became a mighty man of God.
Late in life, Lewis married Joy Davidman Gresham who was diagnosed with cancer six months into their marriage. An Anglican priest prayed for her healing and her cancer went into remission for a few years, then returned, and she died, but they were happy together during their few short years. A few years after she died, Lewis died too. He said, “My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.”
Suffering and pain has a purpose. For sure, it gets our attention. If God’s whispers have gone unnoticed, suffering and pain causes us to give the Lord our undivided attention. Many times, we misunderstand what God is doing and our inability to rationalize causes us to back away from Him instead of running towards Him.
I happened to be left-handed, and I injured the middle finger on my left hand. The pain was unbearable, and I prayed non-stop for God to heal my finger, but it continued to throb 24/7 for several days. It definitely had my attention.
I began to intercede for the person God had placed in my heart (my throbbing finger was my reminder), and I began to pray that He would help me endure the pain, and I began to confess that He is surely working this out for my good. Several days later, the person I was interceding for called me and God revealed in our conversation that my prayers had been heard. I waved my soar finger in the air, giving all praise and glory to God. When God healed my finger, suddenly… it just stopped hurting.
The effectiveness of the bullhorn… the elect of God that has backed away from Him, are restored into His good graces, as in the story of the prodigal son who had gone far away from his father. The Bible says that when he reached his lowest point, he came to himself and decided to go back to his father, with a servant’s heart.
The prodigal son’s father saw him coming while he was still way down the road, and he ran out to meet his son, fell on his neck, and loved on him, and welcomed him back with a great big party.
In Lewis’s case, the Lord sent Christian brothers to befriend him, and he also came to himself, and repented.
“My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.”
Hebrews 12:5-6 NKJV
Chapter 2
Favor Ain’t Fair?
The Lord said in Malachi 1:2-3, “Was not Esau Jacob’s twin brother, yet I loved Jacob, but I hated Esau?” God is love, so I expect that He would love Jacob, but why did He hate Esau?
Esau thought so little of his birthright that he sold it for a bowl of stew. He also married daughters of Canaan, which they had been forbidden to do. This leads me to believe that Esau thought very little of God’s decrees.
God did not favor one twin more than the other, but He directed His wrath toward Esau and his descendants because of his disobedience and carelessness.
“Doesn’t the Potter have the right to use the same lump of clay to make a beautifully decorative vase and from that same clay make an ash tray for one to stamp out cigarettes? Some are vessels of mercy prepared for His glory, and some are vessels of wrath for destruction.”
To the human observer, it might seem unfair, but God can see beyond our limited scope, and He knows the future where we do not. God can see the evil and the good in a person’s heart, where it might be hidden from us. God knows the full story when we may only see one page. The reality is, He is God, and we are not. Father knows best.
The LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV
God said to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I
will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.” What shall we say then,
“Is there unfairness with God?”
God does not show partiality. God is not unfair in His judgment, because He is able to see deeper and farther than we can. Furthermore, He is a God full of compassion, grace, righteousness, and mercy. There is no possibility of God’s compassion running out or depleting. He is slow to anger, and He suffers with us a long time before He brings the hammer down.
For there is no partiality with God.
Romans 2:11 NKJV
If Esau had repented at any time, God would have received him.
The Lord told king Hezekiah to set his house in order because he was going to die. Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and wept bitterly and prayed that he would not die. The Lord added fifteen more years to Hezekiah’s life, during which time he fathered a son named Manasseh. His son became king after him, and reigned 55 years. He massacred more Hebrews than any king before or after him, until Jerusalem was filled from one end to the other with innocent blood.
If king Hezekiah had died at the time God told him to get his house in order, Manasseh wouldn’t have been born, and many wouldn’t have suffered horrible deaths.
At times we may misjudge God’s decisions and the things He allows, but God is loving, and good, and faithful — and most certainly His favor is fair.
Chapter 3
Sovereign Election
God has the right to sovereignly choose who He wants to extend His unending grace to, since He is the rightful owner of it. Jesus taught that there were many widows in Israel during the great famine of Elijah when it didn’t rain on the earth for 3½ years but Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a Gentile woman in the region of Sidon. The Lord sovereignly sustained the widow and her son throughout the famine because of Elijah.
Jesus also said that we did not choose Him, but He chose and appointed us that we should go and bear fruit, and that we should remain fruitful… meaning that He would keep us on the vine and not let us wither and die. Out of love, it was God who first chose His elect, not sinners who first chose Him. God sovereignly chose to love His elect with a saving love for their own good and for His glory.
We Are Vessels of His Mercy
No matter how hardened a man’s heart is, God’s sovereign election
guarantees reception of the gospel message. When Christ is preached, the hearts
of those which are elect and chosen will melt at the generous mercy of God. “No
one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise
him up at the last day,” Jesus said.
For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover, whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
Romans 8:29-30 NKJV
We Are Free Moral Agents
We humans are free moral agents, God knew in the beginning what our
choices would be. Psalm 139 says that everyday of our lives were recorded in
His book, and every moment laid out before we had lived a single day (Psalm
139:16). He allows us to make choices freely for ourselves. He knew in the
beginning who would believe in Him and who would not. God knows how to alter
our life’s experiences, so our experiences will alter our decisions as free
moral agents.
I had a bad experience at Starbucks in the building where I worked. I believed at the time, that it could’ve been racially motivated, so I decided not to shop at that particular Starbucks anymore. A short time later, I heard of two other African American young men that also had a bad experience at Starbucks (also racially motivated). These two incidents made me decide not to purchase from any Starbucks anywhere anymore. The circumstances could’ve been altered somehow to cause me to make a different decision… and it still would’ve been my free willed decision whether or not to shop there. God knows me well enough to know what I would do in that situation. All He has to do is line up the circumstances that will drive how I respond.
Starbucks decided to hold bias training for all their employees nationwide, which again altered my free willed decision to make purchases from their stores once again. All these experiences were altering my decisions, but they were mine to make and God knew how I would decide in the end.
Pharaoh’s Hardened Heart
In the same way, God knows our hearts better than we do and He can (and
does) alter our circumstances that alter many of our decisions.
I woke up one night feeling uncomfortable, so I flipped over and looked at the clock. It was 2:22 A.M. I got comfy and went back to sleep. The next night I awoke again feeling uncomfortable. I flipped over and looked at the clock. It was 2:22 A.M. I said to myself, “Oh my God, that wasn’t me, that was Holy Spirit waking me up.” He caused me to feel uncomfortable so I would flip over and see the time. I knew it wasn’t a coincidence because it happened two nights in a row.
Sometime later, it happened a third time. This time when I flipped over and looked at the clock, it was 2:22 A.M. and changed to 2:23 within a nanosecond of me glancing at the clock. He timed it so perfectly that one billionth of a second later, I would’ve missed the 2:22 reading. WOW!
If God gives us His peace, our decision in a given situation may be to act civilized even though we would like to react undesirably. But if God removes His peace, as He did with Pharaoh, our reaction to the same situation would be the undesirable one.
For example, according to Scripture, God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. I believe God hardened Pharaoh’s heart by simply removing all of Himself from Pharaoh and allowing him to lean toward his own innate evil nature when faced with Moses’ charge to let His people go. God knew beforehand that without His interference, Pharaoh would react the way he did.
In Jesus’ sermon on the mount, He wanted to illustrate the hopelessness of living a righteous life without God’s intervention and help. He said that if we look at another person with lust, it is the same as committing the sexual act in our hearts.
So if your eye — even your good eye — causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Matthew 5:29 NLT
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
John 15:5 NKJV
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.
Proverbs 21:1 NKJV
Chapter 4
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.Matthew 7:7 NKJV
Shortly after I was born again, I began to pray that the Lord would give me a voice to sing. I wanted to sing like Whitney Houston and travel the globe honoring God with my melodious voice. Almost my whole family is musically inclined, but I quickly became the odd man out and served on the Usher Board instead. I promised the Lord that if He gave me a voice to sing, He wouldn’t even have to pay me to do it… just get me to the engagement and back home. I would do it for free. I tried and tried to sing in church, but over and over it was a disappointment, and on a few occasions I totally embarrassed myself. I really couldn’t understand why the Lord was not helping me. It was a sincere prayer, and I wanted it for His glory. It didn’t make sense. Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given.”
One day I heard the voice of the Lord speaking into my heart. He said, “Baby, Daddy cannot make you a singer.” I could feel His sad emotions as He broke the bad news. It made Him sad that He had to turn me down. He went on, “Since you were a little girl, I have been preparing you for another calling, and if I give you a voice to sing, you will totally destroy everything I have built up.”
I knew He was right, because my independent nature is to dive in headfirst and put all my energies into whatever has my attention, at the moment. I would’ve become distracted from my true calling, putting it on the back burner and shutting off the fire, to take up where Whitney Houston left off. I let go of the songster calling and moved on.
Now, fast forward a few more years… I was on my way to work and a song came on the radio by the Canton Spirituals. They were telling a story about an old deacon that wanted to sing in the church choir, but the choir director would not let him. The deacon begged, but to no avail. He had a trembling in his voice and wasn’t good enough for their choir.
Then that old deacon died and went on up to be with Jesus. After a few weeks they missed him and began to ask questions as to his whereabouts. Then a voice came down from heaven, and it was that old deacon. He said, “I found me choir that would let me sing. I am singing in the heavenly choir.”
As I rounded the corner to enter the expressway, I heard the voice of the Lord speak to my heart and say, “I’m going to let you sing in My heavenly choir.” I took a deep breath and gasped loudly — and repeated back to Him what He said. “Lord, You’re going to let ‘me’ sing in the heavenly choir?” To that He responded, “I’m going to let you lead songs in My heavenly choir.” By this time tears were rolling down my face as I attempted to see where I was driving and listen to that old deacon tell his story on the radio.
I couldn’t believe it. The answer wasn’t ‘No’. The answer was just ‘Not Yet’. The more I thought about it, the more pleased I became at the incredible outcome. What an honor to be chosen by God to lead songs in The Heavenly Father’s Mass Choir. Wow! This is much better than singing on earth could ever be.
Chapter 5
Keep Us From the Evil
One
In the movie, “The Shack”, Mack Phillips (played by actor, Sam Worthington) had an experience with God that was amazing. Mack had experienced some emotional trauma that had him so confused that his relationship with God had become very troubled.
God invited Mack to spend the weekend with Him at the shack. While there, Jesus suggested that Mack spend some time out on the lake fishing. All hell broke loose and the boat started rocking, shaking, and breaking up and Mack thought he was a goner. Jesus came walking on the water toward him and Mack asked Jesus, “Why are You doing this to me?” Jesus said, “It’s not Me.” Mack said, “You told me to come out here.”
That response struck a chord with me because I have been guilty of blaming God when things were going horribly wrong, and I thought He was the One leading me to be in that situation.
I was on a new job that quickly became dreadful. In the interview, the owner of the company told me, that God told her to hire me. She was a Christian and, in the beginning, I was head over heels about working for someone with my same faith, but things began to fall apart. I thought since God had supposedly orchestrated this thing, it should not be destroying me.
On my way to work one morning, my frustration level getting the better of me. I said, “Lord, is this the best You can do? You told this woman to hire me.”
The Lord quickly shut the door on that job and opened the door to one that was much more pleasant, and better suited for my work style and ethics. If I had not suffered through the first job, I believe I would not have truly appreciated the second. Even on bad days, I was reminded how it had been much worse.
Jesus said to Mack (in the movie), who was terribly frightened and hanging on to that boat for dear life, “Mack, look at Me! Trust Me! None of this can hurt you; just keep your eyes on Me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jesus came that we may have an abundant life, but the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy us. But Jesus is saying if we keep our eyes on Him, He will calm the waves sent to sink us and our boat.
Jesus told His disciples to go before Him to the other side of the sea. By the time they were far from land, a storm came and tossed the boat till they could not control it anymore. About 3:00 in the morning Jesus came toward them walking on the water. Peter asked if he could come to Jesus walking on the water. He said, “Yes come.” As he went, a boisterous wave caught his eye and as he took his eyes off Jesus, fear gripped him and he began to sink. He called out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus caught him and they both got in the boat.
Sometimes the boisterous winds of life can seem bigger than God. In reality, the waves were not powerful enough to knock Peter off his feet, but doubt set in when he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the waves instead. The waves don’t have to stop in order for us to keep walking to Jesus. We just need to keep our eyes locked steadily on God. Jesus said to Peter, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.
Proverbs 24:10 NKJV
"If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, then how can you contend with horses? And if in the land of peace, in which you trusted, they wearied you, then how will you do in the floodplain of the Jordan?"
Jeremiah 12:5 NKJV
In that movie, the adversary was the one breaking up Mack’s boat and Jesus used it as an allegory to enlighten Mack that his emotional trauma was consuming him and causing him to take his eyes off Jesus. When Mack stopped looking at what was happening in the boat and locked his eyes on Jesus, the boat became still and was restored good as new.
In Jesus’ prayer, right before He was crucified, He prayed for His disciples and for us… “Father, I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.” He also said, “In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
Jesus said to the apostle Peter, “When you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.” This was indicating how Peter would die. Tradition holds that when he was an old man, he was crucified upside down, stating that he was not worthy to be crucified like his Lord Jesus Christ.
In the book of Daniel, the story is told of three Hebrew boys that were thrown into a burning fiery furnace that was turned up seven times hotter than it was usually heated. Even the men that led them to the furnace died of heat exhaustion, but the Hebrew boys walked around in the fire, and they were not hurt because the fire had no power over them while God was in control of it. The hairs on their heads were not singed, their clothing was not burned, and they did not even smell like smoke. The only thing destroyed were the ropes that bound their hands and feet. There was a fourth image in the burning fiery furnace and king Nebuchadnezzar said he had the form of the Son of God.
There are many Scriptures that promise God’s protection, and I whole-heartedly believe God’s word is truth. But many in the church has suffered martyrdom for confessing Jesus Christ, and it would seem that protection was not there for them, as it was with those three Hebrew boys.
Stephen was stoned to death while he was calling on God. Christians were ripped apart by lions while an arena full of spectators looked on as though it were entertainment.
I remember an episode of “Touched by An Angel” where this young lady was being beaten up by a couple of hoods and the angel stepped between her and the hoods and took the impact of the blows and the young lady didn’t even feel them hitting her… just like the Hebrew boys didn’t feel heat from the flames, but it killed the guards out on the steps. God sent an angel to help her bear her cross that day.
I would venture to say that Stephen may not have felt all the stones that pounded his body, as he kept his eyes steadily on Jesus looking down at him.
But Stephen, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.
Acts 7:55 NKJV
The enemy would deceive us into thinking that God is at the center of
our troubles. Unless we keep our eyes steadfastly on Jesus, we will have a hard
time staying afloat.
Sometimes we can open a door to the evil one with our own actions. Jesus said, “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37 NLT). A lot of times, the devil is in the details.
The apostle Paul said, “Be angry, but do not sin, nor let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” Trapped anger can give a foothold to the enemy and he may eventually gain full entrance if we are not careful. Watch and pray, so as not to fall prey to temptation.
After Jesus healed the sick man by the pool of Bethesda, He said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.” I believe that whatever caused him to be paralyzed in the first place, was the result of some kind of sin in his life.
If we hold onto unforgiveness, our prayers can be hindered. Jesus said, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven, may also forgive your trespasses. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses.” If God is forgiving toward us, it stands to reason that we should also pay it forward and forgive.
We judge others, but we don’t judge ourselves for our own sin, and become guilty of the body and blood of Jesus; for we ourselves sometimes do the very things that Jesus was punished for on the cross.
“For this reason,” apostle Paul said, “many are weak and sick, and many have died.” But if we confess our sins and ask for help, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I read a story about a Christian woman that got a minor ankle injury that she thought would disappear in a week or so, but it turned into a years-long battle of chronic pain which led to anxiety, depression, and self-pity. To make a long story short, when she began to shift her focus off herself and onto God, she began to receive both spiritual and physical healing. She said when the world is threatening to cave in, instead of asking, “Why me?” ask “Lord, what are You wanting me to know or do in this particular situation?” Remember? Our pain is God’s bullhorn. He is obviously trying to get our attention about something.
Sometimes when we try to move forward in ministry, the enemy will attack us. Because of the enormity of the revelations God had given to apostle Paul, his ministry could have easily gone worldwide. In order to keep the apostle’s ministry from extending beyond its borders, Satan sent one of his messengers to strike Paul lest his ministry be exalted above measure. Paul said, “A great and effective door has opened to me, and with it many adversaries.”
If we look at our Christian walk, through rose-colored glasses, expecting everything will come up roses, we’re deceiving ourselves. The enemy may try to convince us that God is not keeping His word to protect us from all that is harmful. But if we shift our focus squarely and steadfastly on Jesus, and not listen to the lies of the evil one, we will see victory because God always leads us to triumph in Christ Jesus and works things out for our good. That is the word of God in 2 Cor. 2:14, “He always leads us to triumph in Christ.”
We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NKJV
My final conclusion here is, there is no power greater than the power of
Holy Spirit Who is with us. He is on our side. He is the Good
Shepherd that loves the sheep. No foe can defeat Him. The Lord is faithful, Who
will establish us, and guard us from the evil one.
Chapter 6
Trust in the Lord
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.
Psalm 118:8-9 NKJV
Trust is gained, but it can
also be destroyed. Our experiences with God can build it up, but if we are not
careful, the enemy will come along and destroy that trust.
To distrust God is to say that He is not worthy of being trusted.
If the depth of our faith is shallow, our confidence in God is small. Our ability to see God’s true character will be weak and our distrust in Him prevents us from receiving all the fullness of God. But the longer we walk with the Lord, the more we become rooted and grounded in His love and our faith is not swept away by the challenges of life.
Paul and Silas were ministering for the Lord in Philippi and was taken before the officials claiming they were teaching customs that were unlawful for Romans. They were stripped and severely beaten with rods and thrown into prison, but at midnight Paul and Silas was praying and singing hymns to God. I find this incredibly remarkable. They were not offended with God because He did not prevent their beatings, instead they stayed in the Spirit and as a result, they prevented the Philippian jailer from committing suicide, and won him and his whole family to Christ.
After the Lord delivered the children of Israel across the Red Sea, they sang and danced before the Lord for His miraculous deliverance. They testified about how God obliterated the Egyptian army drowning them in the Red Sea.
A short distance up the road, they were faced with another misfortune — they could not find fresh drinking water. Instead of trusting God, the people complained, but God delivered them anyways and gave them fresh water.
If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.
Proverbs 24:10 NKJV
A short distance further,
they were faced with yet another misfortune — they could not find food. Instead
of trusting God who had already delivered them several times, and shown Himself
faithful to be there for them, they rather complained once again.
They had seen God perform the ten plagues back in Egypt and deliver them from 400 years of slavery. They had experienced the Red Sea crossing and deliverance from the Egyptian army. God had provided them with fresh drinking water in a miraculous way. Because the depth of their faith was so shallow, their trust in God did not last past their next misfortune. Each time, they complained instead of remembering the Lord’s faithfulness. But God delivered anyways and taught them to trust Him by miraculously providing them with food every morning.
Further up the road, they were faced with yet another shortage of fresh drinking water. Instead of remembering what happened the last time, the people contended with Moses, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst? Is the Lord among us or not?” He was there all the time.
I believe they expected God to meet their needs before they realized they had a need, so that it would already be done before they ever had to ask for it. Sometimes when God does not answer our prayers in the way we anticipated, it might cause us to be disappointed, and wonder if He is among us or not. In spite of their distrust in Him, the Lord provided for their needs even still.
For what if some did not believe? Will their unbelief make the faithfulness of God without effect? Certainly not! Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar.
Romans 3:3-4 NKJV
"And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 NKJV
Life has a way of making us
quickly forget God’s previous miracles, but when we are reminded over and over,
our faith in God becomes solid like water turning to ice.
Chapter 7
Seek the Lord
You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity.Jeremiah 29:13-14a NKJV
If you and I seek God, He
will be found by us, hiding where He can be discovered. This means laying aside
our stubborn will and coming to God in a spirit of humility; confessing when we
are wrong, and in a readiness to be obedient to His will. This also means
setting aside our will to stay offended and say, “Lord, I need You more than
anything else.”
Jesus is ready to mend our broken hearts, bandage our wounds, repurpose our hurts, give us beauty for ashes, and bless the broken road that leads us straight to Him.
Since the Lord saved me, I have been one of those people that prayed about everything, including how to wear my hair and what color nail polish I should put on. I always seem to have some idea of how I would like the Lord to answer my prayers, and I set myself up for disappointments because my prayers are not always answered in the manner I had pictured, nor in the time I had expected.
So one day, I up and decided to break up with God. It seemed that He and I could not see eye-to-eye. I went down on my knees to say my last good-bye, so-long, it’s-been-nice-knowing-You-Lord prayer. When I got up to walk away, I took two steps and collapsed onto the floor in a heap of tears and wailing as never before seen. I couldn’t do it! No matter how offended I was, I could not walk away from Him.
My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand.
John 10:29 NKJV
When there seems to be a stumbling block between you and the Lord and for some reason the closeness that once existed has grown cold, don’t take this lightly, find out what happened and get that thing straight with God.
Now set your heart and your soul to seek the LORD your God. Therefore arise and build the sanctuary of the LORD God, to bring the ark of the covenant of the LORD and the holy articles of God into the house that is to be built for the name of the LORD.”
1 Chronicles 22:19 NKJV
Chapter 8
Who Shall Separate Us
from the Love of Christ?
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39 NKJV
God’s love for us is so
strong that nothing, no nothing, is powerful enough to make Him stop loving us,
for a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
I must confess that I have had a somewhat rocky relationship with the Lord at times, but through it all, He has been so patient and so kind.
My misunderstanding of God’s thoughts and ways has led me through deep valleys and dark nights, questioning God’s motives and wondering why He is so distant when my predicament is so desperate. I was looking for God to show up like an emergency vehicle with sirens blasting responding to a crisis. Instead, days are passing with no response.
Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! “For who has known the mind of the LORD? Or who has become His counselor?”
Romans 11:33-34 NKJV
If we try to understand God
using human logic, we will be disappointed more than once… perhaps many times.
Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is
stronger than men (1 Corinthians 1:25 NKJV). If we seek understanding, we will
find it.
The Bible says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind” (James 1:5-6 NKJV).
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV)
Even though my
misunderstandings has put stumbling blocks in my path, God always restores me with
a better understanding of Him than I had before. In some cases, I had to go
through the trial a second and third time before I eventually got it, but He
worked it out for my good in the end.
The apostle Paul makes a strong list of arguments that would be troublesome in any relationship, but nevertheless, is still unable to make God’s love turn cold… arguments such as tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril, sword, death, life, angels, principalities, powers, present things, future things, height, depth, or any other created being or thing. None of these things will cause God to abandon His love for any human being.
But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me, and my Lord has forgotten me.”
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.”
Isaiah 49:14-16 NKJV
God told the prophet Hosea to
go and marry the prostitute Gomer. This was to illustrate His love for His
people Israel, who themselves were like an unfaithful wife to God. They
received His good harvests, protection from other nations and wild animals, but
they ran after idol gods and deserted the One that loved them and provided for
them.
God vowed to win them back though, and show Israel that He still loved them, and had not given up on them even though they had broken His heart. The Lord said, “Oh, how can I give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? My heart is torn within Me, and My compassion overflows.” This is not the heart of a God that is unsympathetic and unfeeling.
Anything we think we know about love, God is at the heart of it, because God is love. He is the very essence of love, and “if” love flows anywhere in us, most assuredly, it first came from Him.
God is
love.
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
Matthew 7:11 NKJV
One day I happen to run
across the NIV translation of Jeremiah 29:11… “For I know the plans I have for
you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you.” I
stopped dead in my tracks and held my breath, as if it was news to me. Why did
I think my Lord meant to harm me? It came as a surprise. The enemy had deceived
me into believing God was at the center of my troubles, just as Mack did in
that movie “The Shack”, when the boat was breaking up and about to sink from
under him. Jesus said, “It’s not Me Mack, but if you’ll trust Me, I am able to
deliver you.”
We equate God’s love with protection, healing, prosperity, and favor. When we experience peril, prolonged illness, poverty, and rejection, it can be mind boggling. God says He is the Good Shepherd and we shall not want nor lack, but the pain and suffering we endure portrays a different kind of shepherd that could prevent the hurt, but doesn’t. Ouch!
In Job’s case, God actually presented Job to Satan as one that he should try… “Satan, have you considered My servant Job?” God challenged Satan as he was going from here to there on the earth seeking to devour.
God also gave Satan permission to test the apostle Peter. Jesus confessed it, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brothers.” Satan had to ask first, but God gave him the go-ahead with Jesus’ prayers that Peter’s faith would not fail him in the process. In the end, Peter wept bitterly when the outcome was not as favorable as he expected.
Scripture does not indicate it, but I truly believe that Satan had to get permission to try Adam and Eve. I don’t believe he just barged into the Garden of Eden without first getting God’s permission to do so, and we know how that turned out. Scripture does indicate that we were predestined before the foundation of the world to be adopted as children by Jesus Christ to God the Father (Ephesians 1:4-5). The fall of Adam and Eve did not take God by surprise. Yes, the serpent is cunning, but not so cunning that he can take God by surprise.
If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” even the night shall be light about me. Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.
Psalm 139:8,11-12 NKJV
So, if we find ourselves
smack-dab in the middle of Job’s trials… could it be that the Father said to
Satan, “Have you considered my servant Fill In Your Name?” Perhaps a challenge exists concerning us. The
challenge concerning Job was that if God took away the hedge of protection, Job
would curse God to His face. Job endured a lot of resentment, but he did not
curse God, even after his wife encouraged him to do so. He maintained
integrity, and God eventually turned Job’s captivity around, replaced the
hedge, and restored him double for all his troubles.
C.S. Lewis also got another chance. When his wife died of cancer, he did not react the same way he did when his mother died of cancer (from chapter 1).
So, if we understand the deep nature of God, we see that He does not display His love in the assurance of all going well. His love is seen in the assurance and triumph of victory, in all we go through.
The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease.
Lamentations 3:22 NLT
Chapter 9
The Answer to Job’s
Prayers
Job had seven sons and three daughters. They were old enough to have houses of their own. On each one's birthday, the boys would have days of feasting and celebrating, inviting their sisters to participate in the festivities.
As the priest and religious leader of his household, when their days of feasting were over, Job would send for them and sanctify them through burnt offerings and prayers. He offered sacrifices to God (one burnt offering per child) asking God’s forgiveness for any sin or lasciviousness they may have committed at their parties.
Job feared God and shunned evil, and was afraid his children may have blasphemed or behaved profanely against God. Job had many servants and I am sure they were able to give him certified details of the ongoings of his children. His children were always giving Job a reason to pray. They were ungodly and he knew it.
As a result of Job's many prayers, God decided that He wanted to bless Job with new children that would produce a lineage of godly sons and daughters that feared and respected God as their father Job did. So, when Satan came around confessing that he had been going here and there on the earth, God presented Job to Satan, and removed the hedge of protection that had been preventing Satan's attacks on Job.
On a day when Job's children were celebrating at their oldest brother's house, Satan sent a tornado and it demolished the house which collapsed and killed all ten of Job's children.
During Job's trials he lost everything (all his livestock, his health, and his children). God restored all Job's losses giving him back twice as much as he had before.
God also gave Job seven more sons and three more daughters. BUT... these children were not the same as those that died. These were as God fearing as their father was, and were beautiful inside and outside. Job did not have to offer burnt offerings as a result of lewd and lascivious behavior. These ten children produced beautiful generations of godly children that Job was able to enjoy and leave an inheritance to. The Lord let Job live 140 more years to enjoy seeing his family up to his great, great grandchildren, then he died being old and full of days.
Chapter 10
My Question to the
Lord About Prayer
My Question:
Heavenly Father, over the
last few years I have continued to struggle with getting my prayers answered.
My hope is fading because of the unmet expectations. I need You to explain what
is going on because my hope is deferred and making my heart sick.
The Lord's Response:
Daughter, when you pray,
you already have an idea of how you want Me to answer your petition. When I
fail to meet that expectation, you get upset and frustrated, and this effects
your faith. It is written, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen.” Because I don’t answer you in the manner you
were expecting does not mean I have abandoned you. This is where We need to
strengthen your faith. Remember in the story of Lazarus’s death, Martha said,
“If You had been here, my brother would not have died.” Mary and Martha
expected Me to come and heal Lazarus, but I lingered long enough for him to die
and be buried four days. Then I saw Martha’s faith when she said, “But even
now, I know that whatever You ask of God, He will give You.” Even when
Lazarus had been in the grave four days, Martha said, “Even now.” When I don’t
respond to your prayers in the way you wanted, please don’t assume it is an
unanswered prayer. My thoughts and ways are not your thoughts and ways. If I
don’t answer your prayer in the manner you expected, I want you to remember
Mary and Martha. I raised Lazarus from the dead. Their prayers were answered,
just not in the way they initially expected. I will never leave you, nor
forsake you. Never… not ever. Remember this always. I know that you are
convinced of My power to do anything and that nothing is too hard for Me. If
the need you are praying about is dire, I want you to remember Martha’s words,
“Even now!” Because a bill is past due and you have a disconnect notice does
not mean I cannot still work it out, even now! I love you daughter. Never forget
that. Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete,
lacking nothing. I am the Good Shepherd.
Your Daddy
Chapter 11
My Question to the
Lord About His Plans
My Question:
Heavenly Father, I know You
have plans for my life. It has been proven and confirmed time and again. But
what’s mind boggling is what You want “me” to do. You’ve got me so far in the dark
about Your plans till I don’t know whether to turn, go forward, or stay put.
Six years ago, I had been praying about whether to go back to work or enter ministry. You had been using me in a way that made me think the door might be open. While going around Dead Man’s Curve on Highway 175, I saw a church marquee that said, “Do God’s Work and Will.” Hark!! A word from the Lord! I stopped job hunting and focused on ministry. ALL my bills got behind in spite of my cries for help. Clearly, You were not trying to assist me in that regard. Someone said, “Where God guides, He provides!” Not so in my case. I found a job and finally got back on my feet.
Why did I think You were telling me to go into full-time ministry? Sometimes when I hear a song on the radio or an unexpected post come through my Facebook feed, I will feel like it's a word from the Lord confirming my petitions but then it never seems to manifest. It just keeps getting my hopes up over and over to be disappointed again and again. This has happened many, many, many times.
If a song comes on the radio at the precise moment I start my car, and ministers to me so profoundly that I have to believe it was from God, why do I keep being disappointed? There has been several other occasions when I felt in the dark, and kept out of the loop about Your plans for me. I can understand that You don’t want to show me the full picture at once, but I should at least know what the next step is, so I know what You want me to do. How can I obey You when I am totally in the dark about what You want me to do? I’m bumping into stuff and making a complete idiot of myself in the darkness.
Thank You for letting me come boldly to Your throne of grace with my complaint. I will wait to see what You have to say and how You will plainly answer my dilemma.
Humbly yours,
Voice
of the Dove
The Lord's Response:
Daughter, do you remember the
time you were being fingerprinted by the police officer for a job? Both you and
he were competing for control of your hand so he could press it on the ink pad
and then on the paper. Both of you were trying to control your hand at the same
time. Then when he told you to close your eyes, your hand went limp in his, and
he was able to guide your fingers without your assistance.
You have a tendency to be too independent and I am training you to trust and rely on Me. I am using your confusion to increase your dependence on Me. When stumbling around in the dark, you have no other alternative but to trust Me for guidance. I'm allowing these things (like the church sign) to throw you off balance and drive you to Me.
When you feel certain, you tend to go your way, but you cannot have your certainty and My confidence too. I cannot guide you in a way that you can predict too easily. The only path to true confidence and dependency is through confusion. That is when I am fully in control, like when you closed your eyes and your hand went limp in the police officer's. I cannot allow you to get stuck in a system that will short circuit your faith.
I want you to seek Me first in everything. Get in the habit of acknowledging Me in everything; look to Me for counsel, and I will direct your paths. I am teaching you to make My presence your priority.
Your whole life as you came through school I taught you good study habits, for such a time as this. When you need guidance, get in My word and I will counsel you and give you wisdom. Your way out of darkness is following Me, your Good Shepherd. I know My sheep. I am able to lead you in a way that you can go in and out and find fresh, tender, green pasture. Ask Me. I will give it to you. Seek Me. I will show you how. Knock. I will open the door for you. I don't want you out there independently making things happen, I need you dependent on Me to make it happen. I will still send songs and messages through other means, but I want you to always confirm it through Me.
For the rest of your life, let Me be your guide and you will never be confused again. I love you too much to let your faith short circuit. Seek Me with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and you will most certainly find Me, I'll make sure of that. I love your independent spirit but lay it aside and make My presence your priority.
Your Daddy
Chapter 12
Beauty for Ashes
Back to the movie “The Shack” (from chapters 5 & 8) … Mack Phillips was having a conversation with God (called Papa) about how He allows lives to be wrecked simply by not preventing terrible tragedies. Papa told Mack, “I can work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies. That doesn’t mean I orchestrated the tragedies.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.
Romans 8:28 NLT
A long time ago I used to
collect owls… and I had a lot of them. One of my friends gave me an owl that
was made out of pecan shells. It was beautiful and you could not tell the
material was pecan shells unless someone told you. This is how my God rolls. He
is a specialist at repurposing our hurts and wounds, and bringing incredible
good out of unspeakable tragedies.
The Lord Jesus Christ is anointed to give us beauty for ashes and turn our mourning into dancing. If anyone can rebuild and restore better than before, God can.
Chapter 13
Know the Lord
None of them shall teach his neighbor, and none his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them.
Hebrews 8:11 NKJV
In the statement “know the
Lord, for all shall know Me,” in Hebrews 8, the Greek word for “know” means to
come to know or know personally. It implies a personal and ongoing
knowledge between the two parties in the relationship. That is the relationship
between God the Father and His children.
Of the twelve disciples, Jesus had three that were closer to Him than the other nine. Peter, James, and John were with Jesus during various events that the other nine were not. On the other hand, the other nine also experienced Him in ways many other followers did not. Our relationship with the Lord is what we make of it. How close or how distant we are, is based on how we build on the foundation. Not all believers will have the same relationship with the Lord.
The temple in Jerusalem had an outer court, an inner court, and the sanctuary. Inside the sanctuary was The Holy Place, and behind a veil was The Most Holy Place which contained The Ark of the Covenant that represented the very presence of God.
We represent the temple of God. The Holy Spirit dwells in us. It is up to us how close we walk with the Lord… in the outer court, the inner court, the holy place, or most holy place. But all shall know the Lord from the least of us, to the greatest of us. We all have His Spirit.
As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?
Psalm 42:1-2 NKJV
If we believe that God is in
some way the source of our problems, or we have been offended by His decisions,
our natural tendency is to distance ourselves from Him… perhaps back out of the
sanctuary and dwell in the courtyard instead. We have essentially left our
first love. However, if we come to know God’s true character, we will not be so
easily deceived, and our relationship will begin to blossom like petals on a
rose opening up, giving off a beautiful and fragrant aroma.
Christianity is not a religion, it is an ongoing relationship between each believer and the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We do not need a priest to pray on our behalf. We do not need a saint in heaven to pray on our behalf. We are in relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, He is our mediator, and we can go boldly to Him in prayer anytime we want to or need to.
We can also come to know Jesus as Friend and Big Brother. That’s why in that movie “The Shack”, they addressed the Heavenly Father as Papa. Once we begin to know the Lord, we understand His character and His personality. When the adversary tries to convince us with lies and deceit that God is the source of our problems, we know the Lord and His word well enough to expose those lies.
I am writing these things to warn you about those who want to lead you astray. But you have received the Holy Spirit, and He lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what He teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as He has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.
1 John 2:26-27 NLT
ALL can know Him, from the least
to the greatest. If we are old enough to be in relationships, we can know Him
personally. A five-year-old has a relationship with his parents that may be
immature right now, but as he grows, the relationship matures. Some children
will become closer to their parents than others. But in some form or another a
relationship exists.
I do not consider myself a conversationalist at all. This is one of my greatest shortcomings. But even so, I feel so at ease talking to the Lord. I might wake up in the middle of the night with something on my mind, and to my surprise, a lot of time has past before I realize how long I have chatted the night away talking to the Lord… not the same with human beings. God is approachable, and really good at keeping secrets.
The more time we spend with the Lord, the more we come to know Him, and the foundation of our relationship becomes stronger and stronger. The reason The Leaning Tower of Pisa is tilted is because its foundation was too soft. The structure of the building was solid, but the foundation was weak. Eventually they stabilized it, but it is a good illustration of our foundational relationship with the Lord.
If we desire to know Him, He will take it from there.
Chapter 14
Draw Near to God
Jesus said that He was sent to heal the brokenhearted. He came that we may have life, and that we may have it more abundantly. So often, the sheep are not experiencing the abundant living that the Good Shepherd gave His life to provide.
In The Parable of the Sower, Jesus said the people who received seed on stony places are the ones who hear the word and immediately receive it with joy, but these, not rooted and grounded in the Lord endures for a short time. When tribulation and persecution come because of the word, they immediately stumble.
When our relationship with the Lord remains in the shallow end of the pool, we are subject to stumble. The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy and he preys on sheep that are easily drawn away from the Shepherd by lies and untruths. One of Satan’s tactics is to use life’s experiences to convince us that God is at the root of our troubles. He is very good at it, so we have to be mindful of our thoughts when we’re going through rough seasons.
This is how the serpent deceived Eve, by planting a thought in her head that implied God was shortchanging her in some way. If I had one dollar for the many questions that has roamed around in my head about why God allowed things to happen, I would be a millionaire. Yes, God is definitely hard to figure out at times, Scripture confirms that His thoughts and ways are not like ours.
You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.
Psalm 139:5-6 NKJV
But if you and I seek God, He
will be found by us, hiding where He can be discovered.
The Good Shepherd loves His sheep. This is for certain. No matter how life will try to convince us otherwise. When we are rooted and grounded in Him, life’s travesties cannot destroy us nor our relationship with Him.
“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”
Matthew 7:24-27 NKJV
Chapter 15
Jesus Cried Out
Jesus did not complain when His disciples deserted Him but when the Father deserted Him, He cried out with a loud voice, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” He uttered the words of Psalm 22.
Jesus’ cry was not a cry of
doubt, but an urgent appeal to God. God had forsaken Him in those moments on
the cross, because He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21).
In His wrath, God turned His back on the sin He hated, not on the Son He loved.
God’s wrath was being poured out on Jesus since He was the substitute to pay the penalty for our sin. Jesus felt the Father’s abandonment. The spiritual separation from God the Father was the ultimate torture of the agony He endured.
Out of love for us, for God so loved the world, His wrath was exhausted on His Son as He met the requirement for God’s law of an offering to atone for our sin. In exchange, the believer now receives credit for His righteousness, as He endured the wrath of God for our sin.
Jesus was both God and man. In this moment when He cried out to God, His human side is fully seen.
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Hebrews 4:15 NKJV
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.John 15:13 NKJV
Chapter 16
The Good, The Bad,
and The Ugly
For thus says the LORD: After seventy years are completed at Babylon, I will visit you and perform My good word toward you, and cause you to return to this place. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:10-11 NKJV
The word “for” is a
conjunction that links verse 11 to verse 10 in Jeremiah 29:10-11. Verse 10
confirms Israel was going into Babylonian captivity for 70 years, but after
that was completed, God said He would visit them and perform His good word
toward them to restore them.
Pain, suffering, and hardship is a part of life. Yes, and all who desire to live godly will suffer persecution (2 Tim. 3:12). We have our crosses to bear. However, Romans 8:28 gives us a promise that all things, the good and the bad and the ugly, will work together to our advantage.
God did bring the nation of Israel back from Babylon, as He promised in verse 11 of Jeremiah 29, but they eventually went back under oppression by another nation, the Roman Empire. Their unrepentant and perpetual sin got them in bondage yet again.
Out of God’s faithfulness to Abraham and the patriarchs, He would deliver His people from captivity and re-establish them by His grace, mercy, and love… again and again.
He disciplines those He loves and punishes each one He accepts as His child. He displays His love for His children by correction, discipline and chastening so that afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those trained by it.
Apostle Peter says the grievance of various trials is necessary to produce faith, and that produces virtue, and that produces knowledge, and that produces self-control, and that produces perseverance, and that produces godliness, and that produces brotherly kindness, and that produces love. For if all these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Savior (2 Peter 1:5-8).
It took me a while to connect the dots, but a picture began to emerge when I sought to understand the true knowledge of God. Remember? Our pain is God’s bullhorn. It lets us know that it’s time to stop what we’re doing and give Him our undivided attention. Years of unanswered prayers had stacked up. I started asking questions, and the Lord was more than happy to accommodate my inquiries with answers.
One by one, I let go of the unforgiveness I was holding on to for every individual I could think of. More of the picture is still emerging, but my relationship with the Lord has flourished more than I could’ve ever imagined.
I remember one time there was something in the news that was getting my dander up. Over several weeks, I kept getting angrier and angrier about it. I talked to the Lord about it, but my soul was still vexed. This is The Ugly.
I was laying in bed one night… couldn’t sleep. I heard a storm coming. There was thunder way in the far distance. It kept getting louder and louder, coming closer and closer. When the storm got over our house, the thunder was so loud, it made the windows rattle. It was louder than I have ever heard thunder before. The funny thing is, the louder it got, the calmer I felt. Finally, I said, “Well… God is angry now, so I don’t have to be angry anymore.” I turned over, closed my eyes, and fell into a deep sleep despite the loud thunder.
Let go, and let God.
Chapter 17
Back to Basics
I read somewhere, “Love is mysterious because it is the essence of the relationship we enjoy with the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.”
Even if we humans don’t have a relationship with the loving God, we still have the propensity to love, because God is love, and man was made in the image of God who breathed life into his nostrils and man became a living soul, capable of loving.
God breathed life into Adam and the ability to love was handed down to us by genetics and by teaching. I am always awe struck by how humans step up to help people they don’t even know in the face of tragedy. That kind of love has to come from somewhere and it did not just evolve.
Unfortunately, we also have another part of us called the sin nature. Because Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, that too began to be handed down by genetics. Our propensity to be hateful is born in us, but if we have good parents and teachers, we are taught how to love rather than hate. It is easier to shape a child’s attitude toward life than to repair an adult’s.
More importantly, if we are born again in Christ, we have the Holy Spirit abiding in us and His Spirit is at work in our spirit helping us to walk and talk a new way — a new life emerges, and we tend to see life from a new perspective. We begin to treat people differently than before. One of the ways we know we have the Holy Spirit is by our reaction to sin. I heard a preacher say, “We might sin the same sin we used to sin when we were sinners, but we cannot sin the same sin, the same way we did when we were sinners. Our sensitivity to sin is a tremendous confirmation of the reality of God’s presence in our lives.” We are no longer sinners, we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Our sin nature has taken on a new identity as we walk in newness of life.
I had been struggling with God’s command to love my neighbor as myself. I wanted to love the unlovely but did not feel as though I was succeeding in it, and it bothered me. The fact that it bothered me was a clear indication of my eager desire to please the Lord, otherwise I would’ve let the hate continue without a second thought. Before I accepted Christ, that was my Modus Operandi — hold on to grudges forever and ever and be perfectly okay with it. God gave me a way of dealing with my inability to let go of grudges, and it became a lot easier to forgive and move on.
Chapter 18
My Conclusion
We are not fooling God when we go along, quietly pretending that everything is okay between us yet secretly we are concealing our hurts and wounds as if He does not know how we really feel. Afterall, Jesus said that He came to heal the brokenhearted. We may as well come clean and confess the things that are troubling us, even if it seems that we are putting the blame on God. He is big enough to handle our opposition, and loving enough to help us gain an understanding regarding them.
Many Christians stand in pews every Sunday morning participating in praise and worship with broken hearts, pretending before the church that everything is cool between them and God. Jesus was sent to heal our brokenness, but we must first draw near to Him and present it to Him. Jesus predicted that in the end times, false prophets would rise up and deceive many and their love for Him would grow cold.
In my introduction at the front of this book, I told the story of a little boy enjoying bacon for the first time. As he grows older, he will begin to experience many other foods that tickle his taste buds and perhaps he will come to like them more than the bacon.
The same is true of our walk with the Lord. In the beginning, we are lavished in His love and grace, but as the years pass by something may happen that will get us stuck, and unable to move forward. I heard a preacher say, our hands may be free but if our feet are in chains, we are still unable to make progress.
In the movie “The Shack” (from chapters 5, 8, and 11), something tragic had happened at the shack. Mack asked Papa why He brought him back to that terrible place. He told Mack because this was the place where he got stuck. What God allows is necessary, whether we understand it or not. Mack didn’t understand. Neither do I to be honest, but Father knows best.
Jesus said to the Ephesian church in Rev. 2:4, “You have left your first love.” They were going through the motions, but their enthusiasm and motivation had changed. Soon after their conversion, the apostle Paul sent the Ephesian church a letter commending them for their faith in the Lord and love for all the saints. But somewhere along the way, their love had grown cold. Jesus told the Ephesian church to remember from where they had fallen and repent, in the same way that Papa took Mack back to the shack… in order to bring him to the place he got stuck, and then lead him forward from there.
I used to energetically jump out of bed early in the morning before work, so enthusiastic about meeting my Lord for early devotion. After a while, troubles began to mount up, things were happening that made me wonder about my Lord, and sooner or later I decided to sleep in when the alarm went off, rather than meet my Lord for morning devotion.
Then one Friday afternoon, driving home from work after a very rough week, to my own surprise, I just burst open and began pouring it all out, right there in the quiet of my vehicle. God came to my rescue, and things got back on track.
Our God is like the prodigal son’s father, who saw that son coming a long way off, and ran out to meet him, fell on his neck, and welcomed him back home, not as a servant but as his son.
The Father loves you (and me). He will not leave you, nor forsake you. Never, not ever.
There remains therefore a rest for the people of God.
Hebrews 4:9 NKJV
God is not unfair. He
is just terribly misunderstood. Let’s not draw back from Him, but run toward
Him, run back to Him — our refuge, our fortress, and our protector from the
perils of life.
My mother told me a story of
a time when she was offended with God. Years had passed and the estrangement
between them remained. She was dressed up to go out to a New Year’s Eve party,
and while sitting on the couch waiting for her ride, she heard the voice of God
speaking, “Don’t you think it’s time you forgave Me?”
Tears rolled down her face at
the very thought of the humility of almighty God. She got up, exchanged her
party clothes for church clothes and attended a New Year’s Eve worship service,
and renewed her relationship with Him that very night. A new year and a new
beginning emerged.
I submit to the Father, on your behalf, the same prayer that apostle Paul prayed over the Ephesian church…
I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant
you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might
through His Spirit in your inner being, that Christ may dwell in your hearts
through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to
comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and
height — to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be
filled with all the fullness of God. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
