I need to make a confession, because I need the blood of Jesus to cleanse me of it.
I recently went on a retreat where I was alone for five days. I knew the Lord was present, He had been dealing with me about issues in my heart. I was also getting answers to long-standing questions so there was no doubt that I was not totally alone at the cabin. I just didn't have any face-to-face human interaction.
About halfway through the retreat, I confessed to the Lord that I was missing that human presence. It actually came as a surprise to me because I am very, very introverted and love my times of isolation. One of the things that I enjoy about writing is that I am most alive when left alone. But there at the cabin, the opposite occurred. Being so isolated made me miss human interaction. The Lord said of Adam, "It is not good that man should be alone."
The very next day after I got home, we had guests in our home. For some reason, I kept getting barraged with questions about why I kept things as I did in my home. Who and what and where and when and why and how. I felt like I was on trial for my housekeeping, organizing skills, or lack there of.
Suddenly, I began to resent the presence of human beings in my house. I could have returned to the cabin right then and there and been totally at peace with total seclusion. The frustration I felt that day has not left me, and I'm still feeling some kind of way about it. It didn't seem to offer me the feeling I was longing for at the cabin.
Since I've been back from the cabin, I happened to run across a passage of scripture in Matthew where Jesus was teaching on love. Whoops.
Jesus taught that we are to love our enemies, pray for those who persecute us, do good to both evil people and good people, imitating the Father perfectly in this regard. Whoops again.
At the cabin, there was no one there to offend me therefore, I had an opportunity to miss them. Back home for one day, and they came into my house and offended me, and weeks later I am still struggling.
The book of James says we should confess our sins, trespasses, unfaithfulness, and iniquities to one another so we may pray for one another. The prayer of faith will save the sick and the Lord will raise him up. Pray for me y'all.
Heavenly Father,
I know I am a work in progress. The epistle of First John asks how can we say we love You whom we have not seen, and not love our brother whom we have seen. I don't know the answer to this question, but You can change my heart to love my neighbor as myself, and to walk in the fruit of the Spirit while I am still on this earth. I need to somehow put aside thinking of myself, so I'm not so easily offended, and learn how to come to love the unlovely. Let Your love abide in my heart toward my fellow man. Where ever there is peace on earth, let me play a part in it by sowing my peace with it. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
When faith is tested
Endurance grows
When endurance is fully developed
We will be perfect and complete.