When I was in the third grade there was a bully in my class named David. He would chase me around the playground. I hated David and to this day I cannot stand bullies. Even though I've been following Christ for 16 years now, I continue to struggle greatly in this area. There seems to be no mercy in me for dealing with them. When my husband is watching westerns on TV, inevitably there will be a bully that strikes out on the one he thinks he can lick. You can easily spot a bully. They're the ones not following The Golden Rule. They're the ones that I'm hoping will get shot and killed by the end of the movie.
I have to say that passing the love test is the hardest thing I have had to face in my walk with Christ. The apostle Paul said to let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus (Phil 2:5). I don't think He would be feeling the way I do about bullies. In spite of my struggles, Jesus taught us to love our enemies.
- Matt 5:43-48 "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?"
This is what sets us apart from the world. Loving the unlovely is not an easy thing. Believe me, I know. But there is nothing too hard for God. If we believe, He is able to do super abundantly far over and above all that we dare to ask or think.
A few years ago, I was harboring a lot of resentment toward someone that I attended church with. I was often cut-down-to-size in public by this person's criticisms of me and I had grown to dislike him very much. To make matters worse, my (then) husband was very close to this brother and thought very highly of him. So all of my objections to his repeated assaults on me, were met with accusations that I was being irrational.
My (then) husband and I used to go fishing and the Lord used that scenario to show me my sin, in a vision...
We were fishing at one of our favorite piers and something caught on my line and jerked it hard down into the water. I began yelling to the top of my lungs, "I gotta big one! Come help me!" I was having a major fit, but my (then) husband wouldn't even turn around. I fought with this thing on my line for a good while till I finally got it to the surface. Then, faith and begorrah... it was a big one. When I finally got this thing to surface, it was the face of that church brother caught on my hook. Then Lord said to me, "Now, let him off the hook."
I found out some time later, that this form of fishing is called Catch and Release. You don't take it home and eat it. You release it back into the water. That's what we do when we catch offense - we release it.
Earlier today I was watching a movie with a bully in it. I just wanted him to get killed so badly that I actually yelled "Kill him!" so loud that my (now) husband came running from the back room to see if I was okay. After the movie had ended, once again I felt convicted about my attitude toward bullies.
So today, I confess that I finally forgive David, my third grade classmate... and every other bully down through the years that I've come in contact with. I pray the Holy Spirit will manifest His fruit in my heart that I may truthfully say that I love them and I release them and let them off the hook.
- Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil 3:13-14)
Now don't get me wrong, our forgiveness does not release the perpetrators from the responsibility of their behavior. Forgiveness is about us letting go, and the process of releasing their hold on us, so God can heal us from the inside-out.
- Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. (Ps. 126:5)
- Sow for yourselves in righteousness; reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord, till He comes and rains righteousness on you. (Hosea 10:12)
I have a challenge for you:
- On a piece of paper, write down the names of everyone that you're offended with.
- Go to the store and purchase a helium filled balloon.
- Tie the piece of paper to the string and release it.
- As it soars up into the heavens (like Catch and Release), ask God to heal the hurting places in your heart... and the scars they've left behind.
The church brother that I let off the hook has been totally removed from my life. God both healed me and delivered me from that situation. Let Him do the same for you. Our job is to forgive. God's job is to fight for us.
- Exod. 14:13-14 And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”
Remember, when you let the bully bring you down, you're letting the bully win. When you let the bully into your head, and ultimately your heart, like my church brother did, then they win.
Release them and free yourself. God will fight for you.
Go in peace.