This mustāve been sometime in early 1999. I was running late for church, and when I pulled into the parking lot, I could hear the saints singing. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit wash over me and a sudden jolt of anxiety burst open in my soul ā like a can of soda pop that had been shaken hard. I yelled out loud, āOh my God!!ā I slammed my foot on the accelerator, threw that car into a parking space, jumped out, and literally ran down the driveway into the church building.
After that day, I was rarely ever late for church. To this day I still have feelings of anxiety if it appears Iām running late for church. Most of the time, Iām the first one in the parking lot.
I love church, but I have not attended any services in recent months. Something happened that caused me to back away from attending church at the building site. I now use social media access when I feel the need to join in fellowship with other believers. But that former feeling of running to the church building isnāt there anymore. I canāt put a direct finger on it, but I know itās not there.
Thereās a Bible verse in Hebrews 10:25 that says not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some (like me).
I donāt have a problem neglecting attendance, but I do have a problem with that condemning verse. I know how to get into the presence of fellow believers when I need to, but the intensity to run into the church building seems long gone.
If I continue to neglect church attendance, am I being disobedient to God? Have I left my first love?
I know the kind of church I want to attend but itās not available to me right now, and I refuse to attend a dead church. Aināt gonna happen!!
I want that feeling back where I jumped out of my car and ran like a gazelle into the building and worshipped God like it was my very last time.
Does that church exist in 2024āāāā
To God be the glory.