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| Let There Be Light |
Yesterday we had an interesting Bible Study at church. Pastor Phillip
started out with, “God wants to share His heart with us.” I wrote in my notes, “How
does God feel toward me?” Pastor Phillip expounded on why God allowed His Son
to be bruised… because He wanted us for His family. He read Isa. 53:9-10. “He
had done no violence, nor was any deceit in His mouth. Yet it pleased the LORD
to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief.” Those who believe are in the family of God.
He also read 1 John 5:1-15 in The Passion Translation. Ironically, 1 John 5:14-15 is a passage that I often quote when I’m praying. “If I know that You hear me when I pray, then I know I have the petitions that I have asked of You.”
Another irony in the Bible Study was that Joseph (from the book of Genesis) came up. In a 5/13/23 blogpost (22 days ago), I spoke about Joseph stating, “It could’ve been easy for Joseph to become frustrated in his faith, because all he had was a dream of greatness that kept going in opposite directions.” I also brought this up in the Bible Study.
I’m taking to heart that this study was definitely orchestrated by Holy Spirit, and was desperately needed. In an effort to see that this seed falls on good ground and yields a hundredfold crop, I am going to explore it further.
A third topic that came up at the Bible Study was the concept of Spirit versus Reality. I’m sure some of that went over my head, but Pastor Phillip used the concept of dreams controlling life… the things we cannot see, touch, taste, hear, or smell… controlling the things that we can see, touch, taste, hear, or smell.
This morning I was awakened by my dear husband having nocturnal seizures (these are uncontrolled spasms or convulsions that happen while one sleeps). In the past, I have prayed many, many, many times that the seizures would stop. I have cast the devil out of our home. I have asked the Lord to rebuke the devil. I have also prayed that the Lord would put me into a deep sleep so that I may sleep through the seizures. None of these have worked. ☹ This is just one of many examples of my unanswered prayers hanging in limbo, that continue to perplex me on a regular basis. Is God causing the seizures so I will get out of bed and go study or write? Is that supposed to be my indication to get up? Even if I heard the Lord communicate the reason, or direction, I would feel better, but I have nothing but prayers going up, which brings me full circle back to my initial question, “How does God feel toward me?”
Three days ago (on 6/1/23), I published another blogpost. It was a prayer to God that I may have the ability to hear Him speaking in plain English from His mouth to my ears. Not through a preacher nor a prophet but straight from His lips to my ears in plain English. I’m not disqualifying preachers just hopeful that there could be better communication between me and God so there may be light in my darkness. He could then explain the nocturnal seizures issue, and I would have a response to my prayers that are hanging out there in limbo year after year. Then as prayers go up a response will always come back. That is my concept of relationship… a two-way conversation.
Before I fully knew the call of God on my life, I prayed He would make me a singer with a voice like Whitney Houston’s so I could travel the globe singing for His glory. I prayed for this many times. One day, I got a response. God said, “Daddy can’t make you a singer. Your whole life I have prepared you for another calling.” He then took me all the way back to elementary school and walked me through life detail by detail and showed me those things that were Him preparing me to fulfill His calling. I let go of the Whitney Houston prayers and accepted what He had shown me.
When I think about how God feels toward me, I have many firsthand experiences logged in my journal. I will only need to read a short time before I run across one, then another, and another of God revealing Himself to me, and His love for me through a song that popped up, or a social media post, or a commercial on TV, or a Scripture that fell in my spirit, or a Bible Study such as the one we had on yesterday. Indeed, God does care for me! There is no doubt about it. He loves me as a Daddy should.
I recently saw a YouTube video of a guy cleaning obstruction out of a culvert by pulling a car tire through it. On the other end you could see mud, branches, dead leaves, trash, and debris being pushed out by the tire. I began to pray that my spiritual culvert would also be cleaned out so God’s special gifts may flow freely through me without obstructions.
SO NOW, as I come full circle back to my desire for the seed of God’s word, that I received in Bible Study yesterday, to produce and bear fruit, I now submit my prayer to God.
Heavenly Father, Jesus said in Matthew 13:23, “The one who received seed in good ground is the one who truly hears the word and understands it, and produces a plentiful harvest. I commit my concerns to You because I know that even the very hairs on my head are all numbered. You’re concerned about EVERYTHING that concerns me. You know my thoughts afar off, and You know my heart. I’m not in this thing all by myself. Let this mind be in me which was also in Christ Jesus. In His name I humbly ask and pray. Amen.
2 Corinthians 4:6 (NLT) For God, who said, "Let there be light in the darkness," has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.
Dee Richardson, Voice of the Dove