Me And My FAT Belly (1)

Daughter of The King

This article is my 80th posting here on Voice of the Dove, and I must confess it is the hardest, most uncomfortable, awkward and humiliating piece that I've put on the internet to date. But here it goes...

When I look in the mirror, I hate the reflection looking back at me. Particularly when I turn sideways and my fat belly extends like a woman with child. Some would say, "Well there's a very simple solution for this, get in the gym." And I agree, wholeheartedly. But it doesn't seem to be as cut and dry as that.

Even in my twenties, when I was a size 10, my stomach was bigger than I felt comfortable with. Needless to say, the figure in the mirror has wrecked my self-esteem. When I go to the mall to buy clothes, it becomes a frustrating affair. Issues with my weight go back some 30 years or more. There's got to be more to it than diet and exercise because I have yo-yo'd up and down so many times.

When I look at other overweight women with flat bellies, I get so jealous. How come it doesn't seem to effect them?

Lately, I seem to be praying about this more and more, because it is disturbing my peace of mind more than usual. I do know that God is concerned about the things that seems to be concerning us, which means that it must be on His mind as well.  The apostle Peter admonished us to cast all our care upon the Lord, for He cares for us.

I want to be delivered from this thing once and for all. No more yo-yo dieting, no more heavy sighing when I look in the mirror, and no more leaving the mall frustrated and depressed. I know strongholds can be broken.

More over, with God's help I can learn to love the me that I am right now, and see the beautiful woman that resides inside and outside of me.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment (apostle Peter said)... instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Man looks mostly at the outer appearance, but God looks at the heart. Charm can be deceitful and beauty fades away, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (Prov. 31:30).

Mephibosheth was King Saul's grandson, but he had a dead-dog image of himself. So when King David wanted to be kind and bless him, Mephibosheth said why would he want to bless a dead-dog like me? As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. God may want to bless you and use you but He can't get past your dead-dog image of yourself. If you believe you are unattractive, no matter how beautiful you are, you'll be unattractive. I am The King's daughter, why wouldn't He want to bless me?

The children of Israel had been taught that certain animals were unclean. Under Mosiac Law, they were not to have any dealings with those animals. But as a result of the death, burial and resurrection of Christ, God does not see those animals as unclean anymore.

The apostle Peter was on the rooftop praying one day and he saw a vision of a large sheet come down out of the sky tied at the four corners. Inside the sheet there were all those unclean animals that they had not been permitted to eat.

Jesus said to Peter, "Arise, kill and eat." Peter said, "No Lord I cannot eat these unclean animals." Jesus corrected Peter, "What I have cleaned up, don't you call it common or unclean."

Jesus is saying the same thing to us, "Don't you dare call what I have cleaned up common or unclean. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, a beautifully cut diamond, My masterpiece and work of art. Should the clay say to the Potter, 'Why have You made me like this?' My thoughts toward you are precious and innumerable, more than every grain of sand in the sea and on the shore. You are beautiful to Me. Don't believe the lie because I am telling you the truth. What I have cleaned up, please don't call it common. You are the crown jewel. Truth is, you are so beautiful to Me."

So, as for me and my fat belly, I will go to the gym. But if I never lose it proportionate to 36-24-36, I will pray God helps me to embrace every part because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Heavenly Father, my King...
Deliver me from trying to fashion who I am based on the world's standards. Let me look to You to be my mirror, and my master makeup artist. You created me after Your likeness therefore, let Jesus be the image in the mirror reflecting back at me. I long to have the peace that passes understanding, and no longer be wearied by what appears to be my flaws. Let Your peace rule my heart. Give me eyes to see the beauty You see and embrace truth and not lies. Make my feet like the hind's feet so I may ascend to the high places with my Savior, Christ Jesus. Amen.