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| Frustrated Christian Woman |
I grew up in and around the church, and like the children of Israel, had the benefit of hearing God's word - attending Sunday School and partaking of many sermons. We were taught that you had to live a perfect life or else you run the risk of waking up in hell when you passed from this life. So when I finally accepted Christ at the age of 36 I struggled and I struggled with the idea that I was never walking the line straight enough, and thus securing eternal life.
To make matters worse, I was hearing a lot of sermons on sin, nearly every Sunday morning. This made me very, very sin conscious and perpetuated the fear of losing my salvation in greater and greater measure... till I thought I would literally lose my mind. I love the Lord my God, but He appeared to be an extremely hard task master. And the idea that my salvation was constantly in jeopardy, made me feel like a total loser.
One day I decided to give up trying. What was the point? I got down on my knees for one last word of prayer - to say good-bye and fare well to the Lord I loved. I was done. When I had finished my good-byes, I got up to walk away and took two steps and collapsed in a heap on the floor in breathless sobs and uncontrollable wailing... the pain in my heart was excruciating, the likes of which I had never seen before.
I could not walk away from the Lord my God. Even I, myself, could not snatch myself out of the good Lord's hands. He sent the Holy Spirit to seal us in, and we are saved.
God knew my heart, even though my struggle with the flesh and sin consciousness kept me feeling like a loser much of the time. God knew I was sincere. He knew I did not want to say good-bye that day. He held me close and did not let me go.
I was at home having Bible study one day and I divinely stumbled across a Bible verse in the book of John where Jesus said, "I give them eternal life and they shall never perish."
"What you say? Never?"
"Never!"
"And I don't have to earn it?"
"No, I gave it!"
Who can fathom the love of God? The apostle Paul prayed that all saints may comprehend the width and length and depth and height of the love of God and come to know the love which Christ has for us that far surpasses our ability to understand. It took centuries of preparation to get Jesus down to earth and to the cross. Do you think He would just give up on you so easily? Not happening! He does not even want one of us to perish.
These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God. (1 John 5:13)
Dr. J.R. Graves wrote:
"If hell should open her yawning mouth and all the demons of hell should issue forth like huge vampires darkening water and land, could they break the seal of God by which we are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise? Could these demons soar to the heights of heaven where we are seated together with Christ? Could these demons scale the battlements of heaven? Could the demons beat back God's holy angels that guard the walls? Could the demons penetrate the presence of our Holy God on His actual throne, and reach out their demonic claws and pluck our lives from the bosom of God, where it is hid with Christ in God?"
And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. (John 10:28-29)
For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:3)
For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. (Eph. 2:8)
Go in peace.